Weird Human News

Potholes are almost never good. They breed anger and derision; they cause annoyance, discomfort, and even expensive repairs, but India’s famous potholes actually saved a life recently.

The “late” Darshan Singh Brar was being transported to the Indian version of a wake after his untimely death from a chest infection at the age of 80.

Family, relatives, and friends had already gathered for a banquet and cremation, when the ambulance he was being carried in received a nasty jolt from a deep pothole on the roads in Nising, in far-Northern India’ Haryana state.

It was then that Mr. Brar’s grandson who was onboard the ambulance at the time noticed his hand moving. Checking his pulse and finding - to his great shock - there was one, he notified the driver to immediately turn toward the nearest hospital.

He was declared alive and savable, and was referred to the Rawal Hospital in the city of Karnal. 

“It is a miracle. Now we are hoping that my grandfather recovers soon,” said Balwan Singh, another of Mr. Brar’s grandsons. “Everyone who had gathered to mourn his death congratulated us, and we requested them to have the food we had arranged. It is by God’s grace that he is now breathing and we are hoping he will get better.”

Not all potholes are bad.

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A reclusive tribe in the Amazon finally got hooked up to the internet, thanks to Elon Musk - only to be torn apart by social media and pornography addiction. 

Brazil’s 2,000 member Marubo tribe has been left bitterly divided by the arrival of the Tesla founder’s Starlink service nine months ago, which connected the remote rainforest community along the Itui River to the web for the first time. 

“When it arrived, everyone was happy,’ said Tsainama Marubo, 73, one of the tribe’s elders. “But now, things have gotten worse. Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet. They’re learning the ways of the white people.” 

The Marubo are a chaste tribe, who even frown upon kissing in public - but Alfredo Marubo (all Marubo use the same last name) said he is anxious that the arrival of the service, which delivers super-fast internet to far flung corners of the planet and has been billed as a game-changer by Musk, could upend standards of decorum.

Alfredo said many young Marubo men have been sharing porn videos in group chats and he has already observed more “aggressive sexual behavior” in some of them.

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A traveler at Boston Logan International Airport told the people at TSA that the strange objects in the bag that was being scanned contained dried fish.

But upon further examination, airport agents from the U.S. Customs and Border Protection discovered that it was in fact mummified remains, which included heads, belonging to four monkeys.  

The incident took place at a security screening for passengers. A canine officer, named Buddy, sniffed out the dead and dehydrated monkeys from inside the luggage belonging to a traveler who recently returned to the U.S. from the Democratic Republic of Congo. 

Next time he needs to check the box that asks if he is transporting any “Dangerous liquids or Mummies.”

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